Are you a burnt out working mom in desperate need of some self-care? Then you are in the right place!
Hi, I’m Ally. Feminine Leadership & Somatic Health Coach, Wife, & Working Mom of 1.5 (a 2.5 year old daughter & my son in utero due in 3 months as I type).
Not only do I coach other women like yourself to find more balance in their lives by decreasing stress, anxiety & burnout – but I live it as well!
Through my own lived experience, expertise, and client success stories, these are my top 10 self-care tips for working moms to help you feel more relaxed, refreshed and nourished on a daily basis. (Spoiler Alert! Self-care is less about candlelit baths and trips to the spa and more about tuning into your deep needs and desires).
Dive in and let’s create a plan that helps you thrive!
My Top 10 Self-Care Tips for Working Moms:
1. Listen to your body
This is your critical step and foundation for building an adequate self-care routine that won’t fizzle out. Learn the language of your body. What does it feel like when it’s tired? Can you describe how it feels in your body when you’re motivated? Describe the sensations in your body when you feel angry, sad, happy, etc. (Use this Feelings Wheel to help identify emotions).
Knowing this information will lead you to step 2…
2. Learn & express your needs
After you know what your body is experiencing, you have to identify the need. If you are feeling tired do you need rest? What form of rest would be most beneficial? A nap? Time to yourself? A walk? Binge watching a TV show for a few hours?
Continuing to get to know yourself in this way allows for adaptability and flow when it comes to your self-care as a working mom. Self-care can’t always be planned spa days. In addition to identifying your needs, you now have to express them. Who else needs to know what you need at the moment so that your needs can be met? Tell them!
3. Say “No”
“No” is one of my favorite words. “No, I don’t have time for that”, “No, I won’t allow that”, “No, I don’t like that”. Many of us are afraid to say “no” because we have been trained to be accommodating. Welp, accommodating everyone and everything is burning you out. You don’t have time in your day to do it all for everyone. You have to honor your energy, honor your values, and honor your top priorities. Say “no”!
Listen, we all want to be the super mom that has an amazing career and bakes the cookies and keeps her house spotless. But by name alone, super mom is in a leadership position. And leaders know when to delegate.
Delegate at work and delegate at home. This doesn’t mean dictate. You don’t need to be barking orders. But similarly to step 2, you need to tell people where they can best help you. Delegate tasks that are age appropriate for your kids to give you a break. Talk with your partner about how to split duties around the house. Recruit others to help you when necessary (a neighbor, a nanny, ordering groceries, etc). Stop taking on extra work in the workplace. Delegating on a regular basis will free up time and will make you less stressed. This is part of creating a masculine structure around you so you can maintain your feminine flow more regularly.
5. Indulge yourself
Part of being in your feminine is being in touch with your desires and experiencing pleasure. Embracing your indulgences in a conscious way (not in a way that’s addictive or sabotaging) will relax your nervous system. Do you desire to be taken care of? Pampered? Experiencing luxury? You have to start with giving it to yourself. You cannot expect others to read your mind or guess how to serve you if you don’t even know what makes you tingle with excitement for yourself. Indulgences don’t mean splurging on that new bag or eating a whole sleeve of cookies (though it could) – indulging simply means giving yourself more of you desires and focusing on pleasure.
Some ideas: Slow down when you eat and experience your food with all your senses. Set the table with candles and beautiful placemats. Invest in a skin care routine that makes you feel taken care of (it doesn’t have to be expensive). Pamper yourself in big and small ways.
6. SLOW DOWN! REST!
This may seem obvious, but none of you are doing it enough! Rest, girl! You need it. Your hormonal make-up is not the same as a man’s. We need more time sleeping and relaxing. Each woman will also be different in the amount of time and ways to rest, but as a general statement we are physically burning ourselves out by not taking the time to slow down and rest.
If you can’t take time to completely stop and take a break, then just SLOW DOWN! Stop moving so fast. When we move too quickly we are sending a signal to our nervous system that we are under stress and potentially unsafe. Practice going through your daily routine 50% slower and see what happens.
7. Move your body
By this point hopefully you are sensing a trend that keeping up with and paying attention to your body is crucial. Our bodies need to move. This doesn’t mean 6x/week at the gym doing HIIT training. It means getting up to stretch & learning how to serve your body through different types of movement. There is no wrong here! Dance to your favorite songs and do it intuitively. Completely let go. Moving our bodies is another way to get in touch with them and our intuition. It also reduces stress hormones and increases endorphins. Keeping your body mobile will reduce onset pain or stiffness due to staying sedentary. Move in a playful way. Have fun.
8. Pay attention to your nutrition
NO, THIS IS NOT A DIET. This is, however, another way to pay attention and serve your body well.
Notice how your body feels when you eat certain foods. Do you want to be feeling that way? Is this food serving you? If you really paid attention, what is your body craving that would make you feel more energized? More calm? Can you serve your body well through tuning into her nutritional needs? She deserves it. More energy = less stress.
9. Connect with others
In a truly meaningful way, cultivate deeper connection in your relationships. Connection with others is life giving. It serves us energy in a way other things just can’t.
Humans are tribal and community-based by nature and how our society has evolved has fractured the ability to easily access this need. If you are feeling off or low energy, you may just need more connection.
Schedule a date with friends or your partner. Emotionally communicate and get vulnerable with girlfriends, partners, and family in your life. Do activities that are new and exciting with other people to create an intimate bond through experience (this releases the “love hormone” oxytocin).
10. Laugh & Have Fun
Stop taking life so seriously. I know we have stuff to do and life is busy – but you can make daily routines more enjoyable by simply choosing to have fun. How can cooking be fun? How can cleaning be playful? Laugh with others and laugh AT yourself! You can still be serious about yourself without taking yourself too seriously. You are a human being. It’s not all about work, schedules, and perfection. Let that shit go. Be silly & goofy. This will raise endorphins and feel freeing.
So you read my tips, now what?
Commit to making an actionable plan that puts you and your self-care as a top priority! You’re family will thank you when they see that you are happier while spending time with your kids and having more sex with your husband!
If you need help creating this plan, book a Discovery Call with me here. It’s 60-minutes of my time absolutely FREE! No talk of sales unless both of us feel that moving forward and working more intimately would be of great benefit. Regardless, you will leave the call feeling confident in moving forward on your self-care journey.
Additionally, if you want a downloadable version of these tips to keep close by click here!