To fully understand the dark feminine, we need to first understand that when we talk about “light” and “dark” we are not talking about “good” vs. “bad/evil” – however to help promote your understanding through education these phrases will come into play.
The dark feminine at its core is about transformation. She welcomes and understands the cycle of death and rebirth and does not fear it. She honors it, encourages it, and knows its higher purpose.
The Dark Feminine & Transformation
To be able to transform yourself into the version you desire to be, you must be willing to face both sides of yourself. The “good” and the “bad”. This is where the dark feminine gets her reputation as being “bad” or “evil”. Transformation is all that matters to her – and to achieve the transformation that allows you to live as your highest self you must face your pain, your deepest desires, and your shame. You may notice that some desires are hard to face simply because society has categorized them as “bad”. The dark feminine welcomes these desires with open arms knowing that when you embrace them – even for a moment – it’s one step closer towards transformation. Because the dark feminine embraces these qualities, she too has often been categorized as “evil”.
Facing your darkest desires, your deepest pain, and your most shameful attributes is part of her understanding of “death”. Facing these desires, pain, and shame to be released and/or understood is required of you in order to step into your highest self. This is known in the spiritual and psychological community as facing your “shadow” or doing “shadow work”.
Facing Your Shadow
The thing about the shadow (I believe) is that it’s subjective.
When many of us hear about our “shadow” we assume it’s the uglier qualities of ourselves – and in fact, they could be (I talk more about this in my blog on understanding our behaviors). However, your shadow doesn’t automatically mean the “bad” qualities of yourself but instead they may be qualities you have hidden away from the outside world because you presume them to be bad and are constantly striving to appear “good” (whatever that means to you).
What if these characteristics of yourself that have been suppressed are only suppressed as a result of this world not accepting them? Our rage and our sexual desires are common among those suppressed. But often our rage and sexual desires are in and of themselves neutral, and frequently beneficial when channeled with reverence. The dark feminine knows this, and in her desire for transformation pushes you to restore the balance within yourself by embracing these “shadow” qualities and releasing shame around them.
The dark feminine embodies these qualities: rage, sexual and sensual expression, assertiveness, pain, etc. Working with her brings these qualities to light. When they are exposed, they stop holding power over you and start empowering you instead. This is why we must understand that the dark feminine is not here for promoting evil. She is here promoting transformation so that you may be reborn as the highest version of yourself. To do so, she does not shy away from exposing your rage, your sexual kinks, your darkest thoughts and deepest pains. So knows the power in facing them head on, and she wants that for you: to be empowered.
What to Expect Working With the Dark Feminine
Beginning to work with the dark feminine can feel both incredibly pleasurable and incredibly painful. After all, pleasure and pain live on the same spectrum. You cannot have one without the other – just like birth and death.
When working with the dark feminine you will likely encounter not only parts of yourself that you have been suppressing but also parts of the feminine that have been suppressed within you as a result of the world suppressing the feminine altogether.
- Sexual Desire & Kinks
- Intuition & Magic
- Sensual Expression
- Boundaries & Assertiveness
- Connection to Earth
- Emotion (a wider range and intensity)
- Body Wisdom & Connection to the Body
Working with these areas may bring up fear. Fear of yourself, fear of judgement, even fear of love and belonging. Learning to move through these emotions is a powerful tool the dark feminine can also teach you.
Remember, this is all for the purpose of transformation. To expose, heal, release, and even embrace these characteristics for your empowerment. It’s for the purpose of you being exactly who you were born to be without shame, fully embodied in the divine feminine and leading your life in an impactful way.
The dark feminine is not something to fear. She is your journey home.